First of all, the book The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant shall henceforth, for the remainder of this post, be referred to as FRED.
Secondly, don’t let the title fool you. Fred is a quiet, unassuming guy, and since it’s his story, he can look back with gray-tinted glasses all he likes. However, author Drew Hayes has crafted such a delightful nerd lark, I don’t want anyone to assume this book is going to be dull.
Fred is fairly new to the vampire game. His sire pulled a bit of a dine and dash, never bothering to take the poor accountant under his wing. So, much like a pre-teen learning about the birds and the bees, Fred relies on pop culture and movies to help along his vampiric education, and except for the sunlight aversion and sudden switch to a mostly liquid diet, life seems like business as usual.
This changes when he meets up with his old friend, Krystal, at their high school reunion. A pack of werewolves attack the school and Fred discovers that Krystal also has a secret: she’s a badass monster hunter for the Feds. And she thinks Fred is cute. Bonus for getting the girl and not getting staked!
Each episode (or uninteresting tale) introduces you to a new character and, as it happens, a new side of Fred. While you get to meet the rest of the characters, you see how Fred adapts and incorporates them into his life. Some awesome people to look out for:
- Albert, who becomes Fred’s live-in assistant (kind of an undead Pollyanna)
- Bubba, a werepony (seriously, just read the book because werepony)
- Gideon, who is feared by everybody and comes in the package of a creepy little child (he’s my favorite character, despite what little screen time he gets)
- Amy, whose alchemical skills border that of a mad scientist
The format of the book is different from others I’ve encountered. There’s a major episode, which gets broken down into separate chapters until the episode is over. Sometimes Fred stops to remind you how the previous episode left off. It’s not bad, but if you’re reading multiple chapters in one sitting, it can just make you go, “But I know that, now get to the funny!” On the other hand, if you’re a sporadic reader, it’s handy, like the first page summary of a Marvel comic book.
I quite enjoyed FRED on its own, but what really sells the book for me is that there’s more coming. This is an origin story for Fred and his friends, setting the stage for more books to come. Thankfully, this has been semi-confirmed on Twitter (unless Hayes is trying to deceive us).
So I’m personally looking forward to what’s coming next, as we just got a glimpse into Fred’s afterlife. Let’s see what happens when Fred’s supernatural world continues to open up.
About the Author
Drew Hayes is an aspiring author from Texas who has written several books and found the gumption to publish a few (so far). He graduated from Texas Tech with a B.A. in English, because evidently he’s not familiar with what the term “employable” means. Drew has been called one of the most profound, prolific, and talented authors of his generation, but a table full of drunks will say almost anything when offered a round of free shots. Drew feels kind of like a D-bag writing about himself in the third person like this. He does appreciate that you’re still reading, though.
Drew would like to sit down and have a beer with you. Or a cocktail. He’s not here to judge your preferences. Drew is terrible at being serious, and has no real idea what a snippet biography is meant to convey anyway. Drew thinks you are awesome just the way you are. That part, he meant. Drew is off to go high-five random people, because who doesn’t love a good high-five? No one, that’s who.